Bleeding Marrow

I look through the window of my room
And see..
What lies ahead of me.
A world sunk in filth and dirty pain
My love, scattered in a crushed plane..

I strive to win,
An impossible war with myself,
But I can't last longer,
And you won't just arive to help me yet..

I feel empty and destroyed,
A wreck of the industrial war.
A victim of the splintered
Ideals of our common lives.

And even though I tried..
Again, again and again,
I tried my best, I did what I could,
In the end you failed to exist..
In my life..

Would it be a nuissance to ask you
To come back in my life since
You didn't even exist..
Somewhere else than in my mind ?!

My fantasies are long gone, now I cry,
My soul pours down through the holes
In my body and I feel..
Like I'm going to..

The nausea won't stop from hauting me,
It's painful, because I just can't see
You! In the darkness of my room,
I slowly fade away..

And even if the thorns shaped in the beautiful snow flakes
Will slowly pierce me to death,
I won't hesitate to live, and go on..
Just to be able to keep
Keeping you alive..
In my sick.. mind..

By Ayame Kiyoshi ( me )